I’m not a spiritual person, so it’s interesting that I chose this word (or maybe it chose me, if I want to get all philosophical on things). But maybe because I don’t identify as a spiritual person, this word is one I should know, because it defines my attitude. I do exhibit acedia, I am indifferent to spiritual matters because they have not interested me. I’ve built a life on trying to understand the here and now, and my understanding of this has never been defined by anything I could define as spiritual. My understanding has always been based on rational thought; a response to stimuli.
Indifference, apathy, and acedia all have negative connotations associated with them. But are they really so bad? Is it wrong to not have an opinion or a position on a particular topic? I’ve always come to the conclusion that indifference towards the racial and economic injustices in the world is unacceptable, as it is not socially responsible. Apathy towards friends and loved ones is so pernicious, and I know that I’ve exhibited these qualities in my relationships, and it’s something I’m trying to change (which is exactly what this 30 Days till 30 Years project is all about). But this word is making me question my indifference and apathy in spiritual matters; my acedia. I know that spirituality is not the same as religiosity, but I have not cultivated the spiritual side of myself, because it has always felt that spirituality is in opposition to rationality. This is a large philosophical issue that people have argued for millennia, and it is only now coming to the forefront of my thoughts and existence now, as I’m about to cross this milestone in life. I don’t have any answers right now, but I know that I can cultivate this. I look forward to coming to terms with my acedia or overcoming it. Whatever is up ahead, there is room to grow and change.